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suffocate me all you need
May 2009
5/24/09 10:48 pm

for the record - the right guy won idol.  discussion is over.

i really hate how i never have anything interesting to say . . . i feel with six months between our visits, i should have something more important to say than my usual blabbering.  speaking of blabber (of blubber, should i say) i have lost about 25 lbs.  now i'm only about 40 lbs. from the weight i was in this pic.  GEEZ.  the stuff can't come off fast enough. 

something different from my last post is the fact cameron and i got a puppy!  she's a german shorthair pointer, named Pepper, and chosen to be cam's secret weapon when he goes bird hunting.  she's almost 7 months and seems to be getting bigger by the day.  the only thing i'm not particularly happy with is the fact we keep her outside; all i've ever had is inside dogs for the past 15 years . . . it kills me when it's storming outside and she's subject to downpours.  but, i understand why she stays outside - she's a hunting dog, after all.  cam and i know if she was inside, i'd spoil her rotten.  and, we all know, the only piece of clothing a hunting dog should wear is a bright orange vest.  didn't stop me from putting her in argyle sweaters when she was a pup  :)

in my last post i had declared much hope in renovating the house at lightening speed.  yeah, well, not so much.  the winter was a cold one and most of the work needing to be done was outside items, so it was only recently we picked back up on the renovation.  so far we've installed two new entry doors and a patio door, fixed some sheetrock in the living room, and completely torn down two walls.  it's looking so great!  we're hoping to be in by the end of the summer/early fall. and, should we be blessed enough to buy the house by november, we'll qualify for the $8000 tax credit.  yippee! 

uhm . . . let's see what else.  a few of my friends have welcomed babies into the world!  another is prego.  and my friends kristin and brenden unfortunately had their baby boy (Andrew Edwin) at only 25 weeks and, even more unfortunately, had to lay him to rest two weeks later.  it was really, really hard.  the whole experience was one of those that, when it happens, you are your friends are left dumbfounded and only able to mutter, "this isn't supposed to happen to us".  as naive as that is - and believe me, i know it - things like this just are not supposed to. 

speaking of babies, cameron and i have decided to start trying for our own later this year.  he told me the only birthday present he wanted this year was for me to go off of my birth control pill.  how could i say no?  that birthday present is free and will save us monthly co-pays to boot!  my husband is so smart :P

however, i am a little nervous to have kids.  i know everyone says it's different with your own but, gah, they can be so bratty sometimes.  and, not to sound selfish, but i like my sleep!  i don't think i get enough of the stuff as it is . . . now i'm gonna go and have a kid so i can be awaken every two hours?  i know it'll be so worth it, but i really like my sleep!  okay, enough of petulant behavior via veruca salt.

haven't really kept up on my reading list.  in fact, just fnished the one i mentioned i was reading (Beautifl Boy).  one thing i have taken back up is my faith.  i drifed away from the church a few years ago and, with the help of an old friend, cam and i began going to church again.  not to sound preachy, but life really is better when your faith is intact - whoever your "higher power" is.  we go to a great chuch that offers not only great worship time, but also a pastor who really makes you understand the versus included in the sermon.  haven't experienced anything like this in a long, long time.  

well, friends, seems as though i've run out of things to talk about.  hope everyone is doing well . . . take care! 

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful


11/9/08 03:16 pm

so, according to lj, it's been 27 weeks since i last updated. funny how time goes by without a single thought of this thing which i once considered my lifeline. other times, like today, i feel the need to reminisce the days of ol' and check up on my friends' postings. and, after reading my past posts, i have concluded that i had the most horrible spelling, sentence structure . . . poor grammar as a whole. and, yet, i still cannot be bothered to capitalize necessary objects. to quote my younger self, "feh".

let's see, where to begin my update. cameron and i celebrated our two-year anniversary last month; time has flown. i wrapped up my MBA program on october 3rd and will be an official graduate as of december 13th. i have mixed feelings about my continued education. i participated in a hybrid-type program, one where my time was split on campus and online. most of the professors were legit; one, however, was a little less than desirable. it just so happens that i had said professor three times, and the most i learned from/about him is that he was a hippie stoner from back in the day, was writing an economics textbook, and damaged his near-prestine early 90s toyota van whilst drunk. these stories, along with a total of $40,000 in debt, is what i am carrying from this experience.

in more pleasurable news, i have continued my reading after a two year hiatus (to complete MBA program). i am about to finish my first book, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Drug Addiction. i find it to be an enlightening read because the author, David Sheff, doesn't solely concentrate on the life of his child, but also attempts to educate the reader on the medical and scientific aspect of such a disease. the next book in line to read is Barefoot by Elin Hildenbrand. i'm not exactly sure why i purchased this book, but did so on vacation last week. we'll see how much i can get into it. and, i've created my very first amazon.com wish list. i know how much ya'll care about the book i'm wanting to read, so i shall list them . . .

- Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines by Nic Sheff. this is a continuation, so to speak, on the book i'm reading now (A Beautiful Boy) as it is written by the son who experienced drug addiction.
- The Assault on Reason by Al Gore. may be a bit late to be reading, considering it was the book of much discussion prior to the election, but i'm still intrigued by Al's thoughts.
- The Gift: A Novel by Richard Paul Evans. this was recently suggested at a friend's baby shower, so i thought i'd give it a whirl.
- The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. my favorite author since i read his first book, She's Come Undone. i'm awaiting this book with much anticipation.

those are all the books for now - of course, i'm open to suggestions so let me know if i should add another book to my list.

the last exciting news to share is that cam and i are renovating his grandma's old house (which was actually built by his parents in the seventies), in hopes we will be able to move in by springtime. i should really post pictures . . . the transformation thus far is splendid. she was a packrat, a gentle soul who was born shortly after the depression and was equipped with an innate desire to buy and stash. something we had to chuckle at, in the midst of bags of garbage, was uncovering two or three dirty books. anyways, i can finally say we're getting to the "fun" parts of renovation - cleaning and waxing cabinetry to its original state and demolition! it will be great once things are done, just have to be patient.

well, friends, i think that shall do for now. hopefully it won't be so long until our next talk. take care.

Current Mood: awake awake


4/28/08 10:05 pm

wowza. i hate to say it, but i've totally forgotten about this thing . . . which is not to say i've forgotten all of you. but, lj has been replaced with myspace (dumb!) and facebook (gay!). i'm hardly on those either, if it makes you feel better. so, it's been a year and a half since i've posted last. i believe the last post was shortly after my wedding. not much has changed. i'm still with the same company, still at the same duplex, and still with my husband(!). oh, and if you're trying to remember what i look like, don't glance up at the user pic. i'm chubbs! god, i hate it. i've been saying i'm going to lose weight for like fifty years now. this summer i'm determined to do it (just like the other summers . . .). i'm finishing up my MBA and will be done in october, so, that's a big deal. i'm convinced school is not for me.

also, i went back through my old posts and all i have to say is BARF. about every word i typed was: die, kthnxbye, asspunch, holla!, or wut wut. OMG. oh yeah, that was another one i used a lot.

man i sure have grown up. methinks.
take care all. hopefully it won't be another 1.5 years before i return.


10/30/06 09:59 pm


i'm sorry for neglecting ya'll . . . if indeed that's what i've done.
getting married increases you social life by 28239023 times.
either that or makes you go to bed at 8 p.m. every damn night.
we're a bit in the middle of those two scenarios.

so, the wedding went well and we're married.
we then went to san fran for our honeymoon and had a friggan' blast.
we even saw a tranny working at ghiradelli square.
not that we have anything against them, you just don't see them in the ol' midwest.

we really want a dog, but we can't have them at our apartment. suck balls.
even though i haven't been updating, i have been reading most posts.
good to know that all of you are pretty much fine and dandy.

on a sadder note, please keep my sister's friend - chris - in your thoughts and prayers.
he accidentally ran over his 3 year old son . . . damn blind spot! his name was hunter :(
que triste.

other than that, i'm fat and sassy and look a wee bit different than my picture.
and by a wee bit, i mean, "DAMN GINA!" i can't fit into my Thursday t-shirt anymore. boo.
ah well. that's what new years are good for - resolutions. and i won't break mine this year.
i will lose weight and become the weight i was in this picture!
i'm gonna buy a treadmill with my holiday bonus from work.

anybody else gained weight unvoluntarily? let me know!
otherwise, just leave a message after the beep . . .

Current Mood: cold cold


8/6/06 05:38 pm

damn it's been forever.

but. i am still alive and want to say hey to all of ya'll . . . hey!
2 months until the wedding and things are getting a little hectic.
but i know it'll pay off in the end.

just got done moving my sister into her new 2-story apartment.

never again.
let me know how ya'll are doing. bye!

Current Mood: tired tired


3/11/06 09:56 pm

after 13 years of togetherness, i was separated from my sweet sadie. my cockerspaniel for 13 years was taken from me today by an overdose of a barbituate, shot straight into her heart.

she was arthritic, blind, deaf and unable to control her bowels most of the time. today at the vet's office she had more spunk in her than i had seen in the past few years, yanking the needle from her leg not once, but twice. after having to be sedated, she still tried to get up and walk off the table, before finally succumbing to the powerful drug. her breathing slowed and her body got weak. and then, within 30 seconds of the injection, she was gone . . . lying on the table - motionless. after getting the "no-heart-beat-found" signal from the vet, i leaned down to give her a final kiss. silently telling her how sorry i was that her life was over, and asking for forgiveness for making it such. i remember her still feeling warm and almost begging to see her fat belly move up and down, signaling each breath she took. but instead, all i saw, was her blue tongue.

i think it'll get easier. but my heart aches for the clanking of her nails against the hardwood floors. for the heavy breathing she'd have after awakening from a deep slumber. and, when running into a wall, wagging her stubby tail for the simple fact that she thought it was you.

i write this for no one but myself. as a simple reminder of how my dear nay-nay crossed over.

Current Mood: crushed crushed


12/26/05 08:27 pm

looks like i forgot about this thing.
been wayy too busy to do anything besides sleep.

i was offered a full time job [at a ridiculous amount of G's!!] on November 22nd.
i graduated from college on december 17th.
and have been hella busy ever since.
i don't know if i like this grown up stuff yet.

other than that, i had a good holiday season with my family.
except for the fact that my mom, dad, me and cam were [and still are] sick.
but the most exciting thing i got was my Sex and the City complete series set.
say it with me people . . . OMG!
96 episodes of carrie and the gals is too much to bear.

me and cam are still doing good . . . we're going to start concentrating
more on the wedding details now that i'm out of school.
and, for the most part, i've been enjoying my sweet niece, lillyana, who is 3 months old today!
she's starting to talk and giggle - and cut teeth. yikes.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
isn't she toooo die for?!

happy new year all!


10/5/05 11:41 pm

I'm alive ya'll.
Sorry to disappoint.

Here's the low down of my life . . .
- my sister is finally divorcing her SOB of a husband.
- my sister finally gave birth to my bea-utiful niece, lillyana rose.
- me and cam's 2 year anniversary is in 13 days.
- huzzah!
- my dog came THISCLOSE to being put to sleep because she's too damn old.
- i'm graduating in december.
- my wedding is in one year - from tomorrow.

that's it.
i'm tired as a mofo.


7/16/05 11:28 pm

my sister and brother in law are separating . . . and she's 6 months pregnant.
the reason is because he's a piece of shit.
the story is much too long but let's just say that i'm going to be the one
taking my sister to lamaze classes. fucker.

a little piece of good news is that i got a new[er] car.
2004 pontiac grand prix GTP.
bad news is my monthly payments are $300. SUUUUUUCKKK.

and i'm still a fatty.

Current Mood: dead.


7/1/05 11:01 pm

i saw war of the worlds tonight.
it was quite good.
and that sucks because tom cruise is so glib.

oh yeah.
and i'm going to see the FINAL GUK SHOW
of all time tomorrow night.